I made the long trip from Austin and Dallas and back this week with the kids and had a loooot of time to reflect.
I’ve been making this trip since college over 20 years ago. Some things are the same (walls of semi trucks, slow left land drivers) and some different (75 mph speed limit woohoo).
I remember when I was a student praying that I wouldn’t get in a car accident because I wanted to marry my then boyfriend. Then we were married and I had the reprieve of getting to sit passenger side and read/sleep/chill. Driving with the kids is something a little different. I have a different level of awareness when driving with other lives in the car. I understand that if something were to happen to us, it would leave my husband alone without all of us.
So I asked God, as I zoomed down the road, why do these tragic accidents happen to some and not us?
“I loved them first,” is what I heard, along with, “It was time for them to come home.” I was a little embarrassed to be reminded that we are sojourners in this world and this is all temporary.
“But what about those left behind?” I asked, thinking of all the family who has to figure out how to pick up the pieces from a tragedy. I had been catching up on Hallow podcasts and so immediately the images of Mary and Mary Magdalene came to mind. It wasn’t easy for them to face tragedy, but they did it and they kept moving forward. Unlike others (ahem Peter), they did not go back to previous vocations and wonder what to do. They grieved and Jesus came to them in their grieving.
Indeed, Jesus is the BETTER lover, better than we’ll ever be. It is even prideful for me to believe that my loved ones would not be able to go on without me. Yes, there’s feelings and they’re valid, but this is not my home and this is not their home. And as much as we have shared love, we are not LOVE itself. We have not created love and regardless of how much work we spend on our loved ones, our efforts will be mere drops compared to God’s concern for us.
Today’s Gospel acclamation was a affirmation of this message:
“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
John 14:18
While it’s hard, we must look forward, to Him who will be simply enough for us for all eternity. And then entrust that He makes good on His promises and that His plans for eternity will supersede any transient experiences we have this side of heaven.